Josh's Jabberings

Pouring lovingly-crafted scorn on Andrew's ambitions since 1997.

Same ol'...


Apparently Andrew is still doing things and posting on here. I said I would too. It's been a while: I'm not even sure what year the last one was. When you know Andrew, time becomes an irrelevance. It's like Purgatory, but without the vague sense of hope.

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Refreshing Disappointment


I've been stalling for weeks about writing this post, because I was keen to track the progress of Andrew's latest excursion, the one where he shells out about $20,000 to walk up a hill. I mean, it's a real nice hill, sure, but it would have to be. And OK, he didn't just walk up a hill. He also went to someone's 65th birthday party. Which is great; I'd invite him to mine, no question, if he hadn't promised to be dead by then.

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Discreet understatement


I haven't had a lot to say about Andrew's recent trips. His own posts are pretty vivid, particularly if you read them, although I wouldn't recommend that. They're full of these excruciating little details."Simple errors like an improperly adjusted harness or slight imperfections in parachute packing can easily lead to greater than intended forces being exerted on small regions of the body." An innocent sentence until you start thinking about particularly small regions of Andrew's body, when it brings tears to the eyes.

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Making Andrew what he is today


I'm getting a strong sense of nostalgia off of Andrew's latest posts. I'm pretty sure that it isn't the first time he's been down an abandoned uranium mine, for instance. I remember that story; how, as a mid-teen, he snuck off to explore the old mine and got stung by a radioactive wasp. He had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to the ER, where they managed to stabilize him. When he awoke the next morning, he had turned into....Anaphylaxis Man. Suddenly he had incredible powers: every time he walked into a room, everyone there began to suffer from shortness of breath.

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It takes the alienation of millions...


OK, so I'm supposed to be commenting on Andrew's life, as he blogs it. This has got to be safer than commenting on his life in general, which is good, as that falls into just two categories: "covered by NDA" and "self-abuse" (apparently with some interesting overlap).

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